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The Universe, 3029


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MEANWHILE..... 

After everyone had left out of the HURRY UP BESSIE I watched as the Tank and the ACP revved away into the night, "God speed mighty Warriors" I said, then I put my gym bag on my Shoulders and I walked down the space ramp onto the sundered spaceport. I had been gave an address, the Dust Up Dome, and I had to get there to set up my Traps and pump some iron before the match, only problem was I didn't have any traps so I had to find a Trap Store to go and buy the gear that I needed. I waloked over to the road and I looked around, there were a bnch of buildings everywhere that were mostly a ruin and a sign that said TAXI STAND. So I went over to the taxi stand where there was a pickup truck , all rust and ruined tires, and it had the word TAXI on the side of it. "Hi, I need a tax, are you one?"

"YES I AM A TAXI" the man inside said, he is a big guy probably from House Marik space going by his tattoos, he had a little red hat on like you see in the old movies, also he had an eyepatch on like he was a pirate except he was a pickup truck driver. "I need to go to the Dust Up Dome, first I have to go get some traps, can you take me to the trap store??" The man looked at me for a while and then said "You are fighting at the Dust Up Dome?? Where is your Uniform???"

"Wait what, nobody said anything about a uniform!! I am going for my Belt Title, I didn't even bring my martial clothes!!" I Yelled back. "Well what do you have in your backpack???" The trucker demanded. I Looked at him, "NEVER YOU MIND, I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GET ROBBED, ANYWAY IT'S JUST WEIGHTS AND AN ATHLETIC CUP!!" The trucker looked at me again, "OK, get in and I'll take you to the trap store" So I got in the truck and threw my bag in the bed, the trucker put the engine in gear and gunned it a bunch of times, it made a bunch of groin grabbing noises and then it went ripping away from the curb. We went bounching down the road, it was a dirt road with a bunch of potholes, I started to get car sick and I looked over at the driver. "Hey can you slow down, youre going too fast and-" All of the sudden we hit a HUG pot hole and the truck FLEW up in the air and slammed back down, I slammed back down on my gooch really hard and I yelled in pain, right then I felt a humungous barf coming on and I shouted "OH SHIT I'M ABOUT TO GET SICK YOU GOTTA GIVE ME A BARF BAG" The Driver looked at me and went "I DON'T HAVE A BARF BAG THIS ISN'T AN AIRPLANE" I didn't want to get barf on myself so I ripped open the Glove Box and I.....

HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKK

I wiped the side of my mouth with my sleeve and closed the glove box, then we hit another huge pot hole and I bashed my head inside of the truck and I heard a gigantic bunch of Crashing and metal noises behind us, I looked in the side view mirror and I saw the most horrible thing, my bag with all of my iron pumping Gear and my jock strap had flew out of the truck bed and landed all over the road, before I could say anything a bunch of metal scavengers ran out of all the buildings on both sides of the road and Looted all of my weights and other gears, now I only had the clothes on my back to guide me to the fight!! "You drove crazy and now all my stuff is lost!!" I Yelled, the driver looked at me with murder in his mind and then he Rammed the pickup truck up on the Curb and smashed into a mailbox, the mail went everywhere and I heard a bunch of Animal noises on account of all of the animals that were living inside the box, a feral cat jumped out and attacked some guy who was going for a walk. "WE'RE HERE" bellowed the driver, then he held out his hand "THAT'LL BE 82.75 C Bills"

"That's a crazy insane amount of money to go like 2 miles!!" I yelled "I want to speak to a representative!!" The man looked at me like his brain glitched out, then he said "GET OUT OF MY TAXI!!" The next thing I knew I was FLYING backwards in slow motion and dumping all over the curb on the mail pile when the driver went speeding away honking his horn like a maniac and Swerving. A ton of metal dudes came running out and they stole the sundered Mailbox and also the truck bumper that had fell off the driver's truck when he had crashed the mailbox. I stood up and heard all the bones in my legs making terrible cracking noises, "Ohhhhhhh thats bad" I said, then I looked at the building where I had went. TREVOR'S TRAP-O-TORIUM the sign said, I walked inside and there was a guy behind the counter. "Excuse me, is this the trap store???" I asked. The man looked at me. "YES, YES, what do you want??"

"I Need some traps." I Said, "I'm fighting in the rink for my Belt Title, I Need traps and a uniform and some tag team animals." Then I looked around, "What should I buy???"

"WELL I think you should buy a bear trap and some Gaiden flailers and a rope trap and some snare cages, also I can rent you a Gorilla for the tag team match, but you have to buy 2 uniforms, 1 for you and 1 for the gorilla." Then he pointed at a cage, there was a huge gorilla inside that was smoking a cigarette and scratching its butt, it looked lazy and not ferocious. "Are you sure that's a fighting gorilla???" I Asked. "YES OF COURSE I ONLY SELL FIGHTING GORILLAS" the man said. "Ok fine, I'll take all those traps and the gorilla and 2 uniforms. Also I need a Athletic Cup" Then the man nodded sternly and he got out all the traps and dumped them on the counter with a Metal athletic cup that looked like it was 1/2 a soup can with a strap in it. "I Need batteries for the Gaiden flailers too" I said, then the man slapped a pack of batteries down on the counter and then got out 2 black swimsuits, the 1 piece kind that old timey wrestlers wear, they had TREVORS TRAPOTORIUM written on the front and KICK HERE on the butt.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE??" I asked. "Those are your uniforms, you have to wear them if you want the gorilla!!" the shop guy Yelled.

"OK FINE" I said, I didn't have time to screw around trying to find another shop, then the shop guy got out the gorilla and put its leash in my hand, now the gorilla was drinking a beer and smelled kinf of like pee. "THAT'S 782 C Bills and you have to bring the gorilla back in 24 hours"

"Aaaaaaaaaagh, that's crazy expensive!!" I shouted and then I got out my Credit Card and gave it to the shop owner. The man ran the card and gave it back, there was a light flashing on it that said MAX CARD LIMIT REACHED "you probably need to pay your Balance soon" The man said. "Never mind that!!" I intoned, thjen I took all the traps and the swim suits and the gorilla and I went out into the street.

"OK Mr Chuckles, how do we get to the Dust Up Dome??" I asked the gorilla. The gorilla did a big stinky burp and then sat down on the Curb, then I looked off in the diostance and I saw a sign made out of a bunch of different Neon sign letters that said DUST UP DOME, COMBAT AND TRIALS, OPEN 24/7. It was like a destiny, was I ready to meet it???

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Nephthys desert
Plutus Docks, Haven
Twycross - Lyran Commonwealth
December 11, 3029
_______________________________________________

The desert storm surged and banged against the hull of the Goblin tank, its unforgiving winds lashing and biting at its hull as though nature itself were trying to drive her way through the ferrosteel hide to ravage the creatures of flesh within. I glanced at Bishop as the unrelenting blast of desert sand raced across our transport's viewport, convinced that this was the only reasonable course of action we had left.

"Far be it for me to argue with you, sir," Bishop glowered, staring out into the wastes with a crushed spirit. "I probably could have picked the track back up."

"Likely so," I nodded, "and I have full faith in your abilities. This is just - "

A colossal bang outside the Goblin interrupted my thoughts.

"...the time for immediacy," I continued, watching as a vehicle-sized chunk of earth ricocheted its way off the tank's tiny viewport and disappeared into the whirling maelstrom beyond. I tapped the headset that rested on my ear.

"Eden to Control - what's the sitrep on this weather?"

"Control to Eden...global we *shzzttt* eports that you ha *szhhhtt* -expected advance of Diab*shzzt* unprecedented weather front *shzzzzzzt* I think you picked a really unf *shzzzzzzzt* be in the desert, recommend you return to..."

Alyssa's voice was suddenly and unceremoniously cut off by an unprecedented bang usually reserved for the most hostile of combat zones. The Goblin lurched severely before settling back down on its tracks. I looked furtively toward Levi as he clambered toward the cockpit.

"Reporting as ordered...sirs?" the young man asked, attempting to assume a position of salute.

"At ease, Levi," I chuckled, attempting, as best I could, to suppress the concern in my voice. "You're here because we need your help."

"But you guys are the big bad mercenaries - I didn't even think I'd be on this mission! I couldn't have imagined - " Levi began. I raised a hand, forestalling further protests.

"Whatever you think you were capable of, rest assured, we believe you've surpassed that," I responded, trying to cut to the chase. "And right now, we need you to be Thermo Man."

Levi looked at me with incredulity. "Alright, I'll set aside the fact that Thermo Man is a fictional character for the moment. What do you need?"

"Our sensors are shot in this storm. The amount of garbage flying around outside has rendered us effectively blind, and we can't maintain an uplink to the Hurry Up Bessie. We need you to use the enhanced vision system you built into Thermo Man's helmet to guide us the rest of the way to the target. We're reliant on you to keep us from being dead in the water."

I watched as Levi went through several permutations of shock, denial, and then acceptance. 

"What do you need me to do?" he asked.

I gestured, with a flourish, at the relentless sandstorm as I yielded my seat.

"Slide in here," I continued, pointing at the co-pilot's chair, "and help Bishop get us through this shit. You can do it."

Levi eased into the chair, casting me a doubtful glance before looking over at a glowering Lieutenant Weyland, who leaned defeatedly against the tank's controls and stared icy daggers at the storm lashing away at us. After a moment's pause, Levi looked back at me with an expression of determination.

"Attaboy," I nodded, before stepping back into the passenger compartment. "You can do this."

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Market, in town
Twycross - Lyran Commonwealth
December 11, 3029

I hummed cheerfully to myself as I bit into an apple, in good spirits.  Thank Blake for drunkards and bars.  In vino veritas,  and harbormasters were no different.  Bragging about a haul from the surprise ship, buying rounds that somehow weren't as effective when I kept swapping his glass with mine after he chugged most of his.  With that kind of haul, he wouldn't miss the few hundred I lifted from his pockets.  Nowhere near the twenty-five thousand he crowed that he'd taken, but enough to keep me fed and hopefully enough to cover a bribe to get off the planet if they found me before liftoff.

No wonder Reaper had been so uptight with bribes and protection rackets - handling my own expenses was proving troublesome.  How the hell did people do this constantly? Much easier to have the gang cover everything.  Needing to track what I had, what I needed... too many numbers.  Too much energy that could instead be spent brawling.

Climbing to my vantage point, I hunkered down prone to watch the warehouse, a stolen set of binoculars helping focus my eyes on the guards.  Useless pricks had a pattern so far.  Fifteen minutes between rounds in sets of two, with two guards looping the roof in twenty minute rotations.  Repetitive.  Seemed more for show than actual effectiveness. Either they had more gun power than they publicly boasted, or - more likely - bribes were the way in. Ah, at least that was the same everywhere. 

Another bite of apple, washed down with some water.  Even underground the heat clung like an unwelcome guest.  Too many C-bills went to fluids that were being sweated out sitting, but better to spend the money and stay hydrated.  Boring as the stakeout was - by Blake it was the dullest part of any job - too much depended on making a move quickly.  Add in needing to time how to get on the mysterious ship with the package, and every second could count. Too early and they might search the ship for the package.  Too late and I might miss one. Or both.  The longer I stayed undiscovered on the ship, the less likely I'd have to turn to unpleasantness or more... direct... coercion to negotiate.

Another few bites, and the apple, core included, was finished, and I carefully spit the seeds into my palm before tucking them into my pocket before checking the ground to make sure none had fallen during my meal.  Seeing none, I settled back into position, still watching.

Still. Bored.

Edited by Claire Voltaris
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“Attaboy, you can do this,” Captain Maxwell said, and then went back to the passenger area.

 

I put my Thermo Man helmet on and messed with the controls for its sensors while Bishop impatiently flicked a loose piece of rubber on the steering handle grip. With all the sand swirling around outside I couldn’t get my heat vision or anything else to come into focus. As a last resort I set everything’s focal distance to the longest possible and slowly cranked it in, but I got nothing at all until I was close to the nearest focus possible and could faintly make out a few bumps and some linear features on my helmet’s ultrasonic display layer, maybe walking paths or dry creek beds?

 

I switched off the sensor displays to check them against my regular vision. The pattern remained, as scrapes and dings in the tank’s windshield.

 

“You think I could try sticking my head outside or something?” I asked Bishop. “We’re so well protected in here, all I can see is windshield.”

 

Bishop shrugged. “May as well, sand won’t kill ya.”

 

So I went back to the passenger compartment and climbed up to where I could reach the hatch’s latch.

 

“Wow, did Bishop scare you that bad?” Captain Maxwell joked.

 

“I’m just going to try sticking my head out so I can use the sensors without the windshield in the way - if that’s alright.”

 

Octavia looked like she was about to say something, but Maxwell cut her off. “Sure, do your thing.”

 

I opened the hatch and heard a noise that sounded sort of like static, but it was actually a bunch of sand pounding me on the head. I climbed a couple steps higher and stuck my head and shoulders outside so that there’d be less sand raining down on everybody else. “Hey Bishop, can you hear me?” I shouted into the helmet’s mic.

 

“Yeah, if you sound like static,” Bishop said with his voice all distorted and buzzy. “What have you got?”

 

“Uuuuhh,” I said, and wriggled around so I could get my hand outdoors to adjust the dials on the back of the helmet. “There’s a ditch about ten meters ahead of us, we’re gonna need to turn around.”

 

A long, staticky sigh came over the mic. “Alright, is the turn radius clear?”

 

“Yeah, no other obstacles nearby,” I said.

 

Bishop got the tank turned around and slowly rolling along, and I called out the rocks and ditches and stuff I was able to see on my helmet’s sensors. I started to get the hang of what things like “signal’s at ten o’clock” meant, and Bishop got real used to hearing “I meant your other left!” We found the end of the big ditch that’d stopped us in the beginning and got around it, and continued on towards the target. And then I heard Bishop shout.

 

“Not unless you can drive a tank!”

 

“Um, what?” I asked. “I don’t think I got that.”

 

“I was talking to Her Highness,” Bishop grumbled. “Says her seat is too sandy for her.”

 

“Oh. Um, look out, big rock on the right!”

 

There was a bang, and the tank lurched. “Can’t you call it fucking starboard?” Bishop shouted.

 

“Um, sorry, I don’t know which one that is,” I said. “Path to the left is clear for about twenty meters, though.”

 

We kept on like that for a couple hours, and I was glad it was night time because my head would’ve been cooking being outside the tank otherwise. My helmet kept the sand out pretty good, since I’d reinforced the visor’s seal after my match against The Mad Entymologist, but it got in through the collar of my jacket and the cracks in the zipper and maybe even the seams, and I thought I felt sand somehow falling down the legs of my pants, too. I could only imagine how bad it was in the passenger area with sand blowing down in all around me. If the storm got any worse I wouldn’t even be able to hear Bishop over the mic.

 

“Signal at one o’ clock, looks within fifty meters,” Bishop said.

 

“You can see distance on that thing?”

 

“I can at this range. How’s the path?”

 

“Clear as far as I can see, which isn’t all that far, and there’s a big fuzzy something way ahead that might be our box.”

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Dossier | Vehicle TRO |  Kit Details

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I was impressed. I wasn't sure what plan Captain Maxwell had cooked up this time, but whatever it was, it involved Levi, the Thermo Man helmet, and his ability to yell navigation instructions to Bishop. And it resulted in an incredibly uncomfortable, swerving, bumping, and swear-laden endeavor, over the next few hours, accompanied by no shortage of sand spraying in on us, before at last, we felt a final CRASH, and the tank lurched to a stop.

"Clear as far as I can see, which isn't all that far, and there's a big fuzzy something way ahead that might be our box."

"WAY AHEAD?" Bishop bellowed. "IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US AND I FUCKING HIT IT!"

"Okay, well, as I tried to tell you before, my sensors are all screwy from this weather." I heard Levi explain. I got up from my seat and brushed a bunch of sand from my lap. Octavia was still complaining loudly, something about the matter being uncouth, but I had other priorities. I looked up the turrret at Levi, who was standing very tensely looking out over the landscape.

"Hey, Levi." I said. Eventually he looked down at me.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Is it a cargo container?" I asked.

"Near as I can tell." Levi said.

"Great, then your job is done, come down here and get that sand out of your teeth."

Levi looked relieved and slid down the ladder. As he pulled off the Thermo Man helmet, a bunch of sand dumped out on the ground.

"You did a good job." I said. Just then, Captain Maxwell came over and clapped him on his shoulder.

"Agreed." said Maxwell. "Don't worry about sticking the landing, that's on Bishop, now, as far as the next leg of this jaunt is concerned, we may need to wait until we have some daylight....."

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Somewhere in the Spindrift Desert
Twycross - Lyran Commonwealth
December 12, 3029

_______________________________________________

Several long, tedious hours passed as we listened to the sound of debris pelting our Goblin tank, angry winds howling relentlessly around its angular frame, backdropped by intermittent garbled weather updates coming in from Alyssa Chase, most of which repeated the same information we already knew: that we were in the thick of it.

By the grace of Blake, we'd managed to arrive at the container with our Hover APC escort intact, and in a harrowing, probably foolhardy maneuver, I'd donned a rebreather and ventured outside the Goblin in the midst of the maelstrom to attach a pair of chains between the two craft, hoping to further anchor the hovercraft and increase its chances of riding out the tempest in one piece.

Now, what felt like an eternity thereafter, the winds were subsiding just as daylight - and with it, the unrelenting heat of the desert - began to spill over the horizon. I stepped into the Goblin's cockpit just as Bishop was activating a device to clear several centimeters of sand from the tank's narrow windscreen, revealing the landscape beyond.

"Rise and shine, ladies and gentlemen," Alyssa's voice crackled on the radio, the signal strong and clear for the first time since we'd been caught in the apocalyptic conditions. "The front has broken and the scope is clear. I'll have an eye in the sky over your location in about ten minutes to monitor the perimeter if you want to start suiting up."

"Best news I've heard all day, Control," I replied. "We'll get moving. Let us know when you're on station, and we'll commence 'Operation Pop-A-Lock."

"Will do," Alyssa chuckled, closing the channel. I gazed through the Goblin's windshield, looking out over the ochre expanse before us. We'd landed nearly on top of the cargo container. Though half-buried by the sandstorm and rather heavily dented from both a low-altitude drop and a subsequent collision with our own tank, the unit looked relatively intact. Provided that we could avoid any unexpected plot twists, I estimated that we'd have a reasonably uneventful time recovering the contents. As Bishop set about arming the tank's defensive systems and relocating into the turret gunner's seat, I maneuvered back into the passenger compartment.

"Alright, remember: this is going to be a quick smash-and-grab. Baroness Incendio and Lieutenant Weyland will keep an eye out for hostiles and coordinate fire support with the Hover APC as needed," I began.

"Oh...joy..." Octavia remarked, glancing up at the hulking infantryman in the turret, who appeared to ignore the comment.

"...while Nick and Levi assess the condition of the lockout device on the container and get us access to the unit. Lieutenant Jaeger and I will coordinate the recovery team from the APC and provide fire support if we have an incident. Warrant Officer Chase has a drone up and is monitoring the perimeter from above. Everyone clear on their roles?" I asked. "Good. Let's be quick but thorough. Oh - and stay hydrated. It might still feel cool out there now, but it's going to heat up quickly. There are water packs in the cooler by the door. Make sure you grab one when you gear up. Any questions?"

Silence and determined expressions met my reply.

"Excellent. Get suited up and ready to roll in ten minutes. The sooner we can get this done, the better."

###

Approximately ten minutes later...

The rear door of the APC crashed to the sandy surface with a loud, undulating bang. A whirlwind of heavy, hot air rushed in, almost immediately tripping the cooling system in the MechWarrior combat suit I wore beneath my duster. Drawing my M42B rifle, I strode down the ramp, the visor on my helmet instantly polarizing against the glare of daylight as my boots crunched on the desert powder. Far overhead, I heard the distant whine of a drone engine, the aircraft much too small to be made out with the human eye.

"Eden, I've got sights on you. I have to say, your combination of biker helmet, hand cannon, and Wild West duster is pretty badass," Chase quipped in my earpiece.

"Very funny," I laughed. "Let's just be sure you bring all those fancy cameras back in one piece."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure that Regent's high-end whirlybird gets repacked the way we found it," Alyssa replied. "You just be safe down there. I'll let you know if anything pops on my scope."

"Copy that, much appreciated," I acknowledged, shuffling through ankle-high sand toward the cargo container. Seeing that Nick and Levi were already at its doors, I waved to Lieutenant Jaeger.

"Looks like we're about to crack this thing. Want to get the APC crew rolling?" I radioed.

"You got it, Captain, Mallory just wrapped the safety brief. I'll bring them over," Orlex responded.

"Sounds good. I'm going to go see if our locksmiths need any help," I acknowledged, trudging past the sand-covered Goblin and drawing up on the cache, its reinforced structure gleaming a dingy white in the arid sunshine. Nick stood before the unit's heavy doors, clutching a digital handlink wired to the crate's locking mechanism, while Levi looked on through his Thermo Man helmet.

"How's it looking?" I asked. Schuster shook his head.

"Not good. I don't know if it was the fall from low orbit, the garbage weather, or something else, but this lock is not responding. I can't even get an ACK signal from its microprocessor," the Lyran answered, frustration evident in his tone. "This was supposed to be a simple hack - well - as simple as busting anything with an Irian lock on it can be."

"Damn," I replied, eyeing the very sturdy rods that prevented unauthorized entry into the container. "We're gonna be here for a long time if we have to cut our way in."

"You're telling me," Nick grumbled. "According to the stock plans I could find about this type of shipping container, there are sixteen rods made out of Durallex Special Heavy composite situated around a central drum holding this door closed. It's the same stuff they use to make BattleMech armor. Shock absorbers on all sides of the crate prevent the locking mechanism from being bashed in and further protect the cargo inside from bumps, spills, and the occasional drop from orbit. In a pinch, we could probably have Bishop use the Goblin to shoot the door in, but that would run a serious risk of blowing up the stuff inside."

"So our choices are either to get that lock working or pitch some tents and take shifts cutting," I editorialized. "Great. Let me get Weyland on the horn."

I keyed my helmet radio. "Eden to Predator. You got any tricks for getting past Irian-manufactured locks?"

"Usually I use high explosives," Bishop responded. 

"As much fun as that would be, it's not our top option," I explained. "Got anything else? This container's giving us fits."

"Going around the lock's probably going to be your better option. You want me to come down there and try to tear the door off its hinges?" Weyland answered.

"No," I replied.

"Why not?" Bishop retorted.

"Because I'd never forgive myself if you ended up tearing your own arms out of the sockets in the process. I'll call you back," I replied, keying the channel closed with a sigh, and turning toward Nick and Levi. "Let me know when we need to get the torches out. Seems we're fresh out of options." 

"Perhaps we're not, Captain," Levi offered. "Nick got the cover off the locking mechanism, and I've been looking at it in MicroMode."

"I'm sorry, did you say 'MicroMode?'" I asked, holstering my rifle and leaning in closer to see what the two men were scrutinizing.

"Oh, yeah," Levi replied, "it's a special helmet filter I created that lets me see things close up, like a microscope. I use it to work on my costume's circuits."

"Got it. I'm guessing you found something?" I answered.

Levi nodded. "Yeah. The mainboard in the lock's been tampered with. Like someone overloaded it deliberately. It's been subjected to way more current than it can handle. One of the resistors is blown out, but I think I can do a spot weld with my laser. It'll probably fry out again pretty quickly, but it might be enough to at least get us inside."

A feeling of concern washed over me. "I don't like the idea that someone's already been here messing with the shipment. Have you gents got any way to see what we can expect on the other side of that door?"

Nick shook his head. "No. The unit's computer is totally offline and the cargo container is shielded. We would need equipment similar to what they had on the Mendacious to penetrate it."

"Alright, I understand. Good find, Levi. Do what you need to do to get it operational. One shot's better than none," I nodded. Just then, Lieutenant Jaeger arrived at my side.

"What's going on?" Orlex asked.

"There's circumstantial evidence to suggest that someone's been here before us. The locking mechanism's shot. Levi's going to try to patch around it and get us in," I explained.

"Alright, I'll have the APC crew on standby," the Lieutenant answered.

"Have them go weapons hot. I want to be sure we're ready for any potential contingencies," I added. Jaeger flashed a thumbs-up and headed over to the assembled recovery team. Meanwhile, I watched as Levi dropped to his knees and drew close to the lock. Steadying himself against the cargo container, a tiny coherent energy beam lanced out from the right side of his helmet and made contact with the circuit board for a fraction of a second. A small wisp of smoke rose from the repair site.

"Blow on it," Levi said, gesturing to Nick. The Lyran pushed his sunglasses above his forehead and bent down to blow gently at the improvised weld.

"Perfect, thanks. Try it now."

Nick rose to his feet, dropping the shades back onto the bridge of his nose and consulting his keypad.

"It keeps fritzing out. Can you jiggle the case a little bit? Maybe there's a loose wire somewhere," Schuster requested. Levi gave the mechanism a few gentle taps.

"OK - it's online!" Nick announced, keying in a rapid-fire series of commands. Then, taking a deep breath, the Sergeant punched a final button on the pad. "Here goes nothing."

A loud whine shrieked from within the cargo container, followed by a deep, reverberating rumble. Four heavy bangs followed as the quadruple arrays of locking pins retracted toward the central drum. A final series of twin pops indicated that the unit was now open. No sooner had the procedure finished than a small burst of flame erupted from the locking mechanism as it spontaneously combusted, a stream of melted plastic running down the front of the cargo container.

"I can't believe that worked!" Schuster exclaimed, high-fiving Levi.

"Nice job!" I agreed, gesturing to Lieutenant Jaeger, who jogged up alongside me to take in the scene. Unholstering my rifle, I approached the container in tandem with Orlex. Making eye contact with the Lieutenant, I silently counted off three fingers. Then, we swung the door open forcibly, flooding the unit with light. As I raised my weapon, preparing for the inevitable ambush, I was instead met with a far more horrific sight.

The shipment was missing.

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I looked on in stunned shock as, while Captain Maxwell and Lieutenant Weyland drew their weapons, the cargo container bashed open to reveal nothing but a cavernous expanse within. At first I thought maybe my eyes weren't calibrated to the darkness inside. I pushed my sunglasses up on top of my head and squinted into the dark. No, the cargo container had definitely been picked clean, all the way down to any wiring not required to keep the homing device and lock working. I couldn't believe it.

"Blake damn it...." Orlex hissed. Captain Maxwell lowered his weapon and slid his visor open, a look of disbelief on his face. I slowly walked into the container.

"It looks like scavengers beat us to the punch." I muttered, looking around.

"You don't say..." Maxwell agreed. "This place is totally empty."

Suddenly, a small, blinking red light from the far end of the container caught my eye.

"Maybe not completely empty." I advised, clicking on my pen light and moving slowly forward.

"What are you seeing?" Orlex asked, following cautiously behind me. As I got closer to the source of the blink, my eyes widened. There before me was the homing device, still active, but with some kind of hacky homebrew transmitter duct taped to the side of it, its antenna hanging off at a weird angle and a single red lightbulb flashing behind a plastic lens that read "ACTIVITY." I noticed a series of bundled, hastily crimped together wires running back from the homing device to the doors of the cargo container, where, from the inside, I could now see that a contact sensor had been crudely cobbled together from a plunger-type button probably salvaged out of a vehicle. When we opened the door, the plunger was no longer pushed down, completing the circuit, and now some series of events was unfolding.

"Oh, that's not good. Sirs - I think this place might be alarmed!" I called out, taking a few short steps toward the contraption and dropping down on my knees to look at it closer. Back from the entrance of the container, I heard Levi call out "Everything OK in there guys?"

"Not sure, but you should probably hang back there to be safe." I replied, staring at the unit. All of a sudden, another light blinked on, this one a grimly lime green. Written over the face of the lens in marker was the word "ARMED."

"What the hell?" I blurted. My eyes frantically raced around the room, then I saw it. Stashed inside two huge, overturned barrels were a pair of SRMs, probably off a tank or something, with their nose cones off and a bunch of wires snaking out of the missiles and wrapping back toward the transmitter. A little junction box behind the homing devices concealed where they spliced into the radio set.

"Oh, shit! We gotta go now!" I screamed, jumping to my feet and hurtling toward Captain Maxwell and Lieutenant Jaeger. Throwing my arms around both officers, I impacted the men with my full weight, knocking both of them off balance and causing us all to tumble violently out of the cargo container and into the desert sand moments before the unit detonated in an apocalyptic blast. I heard Orlex grunt loudly as he hit the ground and debris rained down around us. Turning to spot Captain Maxwell, I saw that he was prone on the ground, simply staring in shock at where the cargo container used to be in shock.

Slowly I sat up, wiping sand off my face and picking the destroyed remains of my sunglasses out of the ground. My headset crackled loudly with a radio message from Alyssa.

"Are you guys OK? I just saw a huge explosion from up here!!"

"We're fine, Control.......I think. Captain Maxwell? Lieutenant Jaeger? You alright? Sorry for the rough landing."

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Haven, Twycross III, Lyran Commonwealth

December 11, 3029

 

“Look around you!” the guy behind the Dangerous Items counter shouted. “Where’s a bear supposed to live around here? The whole planet’s a desert!”

 

I slammed my hands on the counter and leaned over it. The guy was so tall I couldn’t properly loom over him, so I just did my best. “It’s not for a bear, it’s for my d’juulu match. I need bear traps.”

 

“Sucks to be you, bud, you’re not gonna find any here. We’ve got some other large animal traps that’d work, though - like this dig-it-yourself spike pit trap!” The Dangerous Items guy took a big box off the shelf behind him and dropped it on the counter. The metal parts inside made a big clang and some lady trying on hiking boots got so surprised she almost fell off her chair.

 

“Nah, I haven’t got time for all that digging - and I don’t even know if the Dust-Up Dome has a dirt floor. What else have you got?”

 

“Aerial monkey traps?” the guy suggested. “Here, watch this Demo Vid.” He stuck a tape in the player and turned on the TV screen sitting on the counter.

 

It was a video of a shabby little backyard getting ransacked by big baboonish looking monkeys. They were eating garbage out of knocked over dented-up trash cans, flipping over potted plants and wearing the pots as hats, and ripping up the laundry from the clothesline. One of the monkeys threw a rotten fruit at the neighbor’s back window and broke it. Another monkey had it’s back to the camera and made like it was going to sit down on the ground, but stopped halfway.

 

“Gross, that one’s pooping!” I said. “Why are you showing me this crap?”

 

“Keep watching,” the shop guy said.

 

Suddenly the video sped up and went backwards - the poop went back into the monkey and it stood up, the broken glass went back into the window, the fruit went back into the monkey’s hand, the laundry untore, and the trash cans even stood back up before all the monkeys scampered away backwards. The screen went dark for a second, and when it turned back on the laundry was gone and there were snare traps on pulleys hanging from the clothesline instead, and bits of food inside the loop of each snare where it rested on the ground. The monkeys ran back into the yard and started eating the food, and then the snare traps triggered and yanked the monkeys up into the air so they were hanging by their feet from the clothesline. They struggled and swung around and two of them wacked their heads into each other and then started screaming.

 

“That was awesome!” I said. “I’ll take five of those. One sec, I’m gonna go see how Ba Ba is doing.”

 

I didn’t have to look far - I could hear Ba Ba’s heels clicking towards me, and I could tell just from the sound that she was angry.

 

“What kind of hunting store doesn’t sell hunting dogs?” Ba Ba grumbled as she slapped a multipack of walking stick tips down on the counter. One of them was serrated “for traction” and another was a huge metal spike.

 

The Dangerous Items guy looked at the pack of tips, and Ba Ba’s angry face, and her cane angry-tapping on the floor, and he looked worried. “We used to, but they kept getting loose and tearing up the display of sandhog pheromone baits. Most people don’t have the money for a whole pack of dogs around here, anyway.”

 

“What do we need dogs for, Ba Ba? I can take this guy, I’ll knock his teeth in with my own fists like always.”

 

“Didn’t you read the match rules, Billy?”

 

“I’ve done d’juulu matches a dozen times before, Ba Ba, I know the rules.”

 

“It’s modified d’juulu rules this time, the animals are the modified part! You need something to keep the other guy’s animals busy! You’ve got homework tonight, young man.”

 

The Dangerous Items guy rang up the traps and Ba Ba’s walking stick tips. “If you want a suggestion, the farm store across the way doesn’t sell any large livestock, but they’ve got pollinators.”

 

“What the hell?” I said. Ba Ba glared at me because “hell” wasn’t exactly cussing but it also wasn’t not cussing. “I need something that’ll maul him, not pollinate him!”

 

“I mean they’ve got bees and wasps and stuff. Farmers mostly rent them for greenhouses, but they’ve got some nasty stingers.”

 

I sighed. “Yeah, let’s go check it out.” I carried the shopping bags with our traps and Ba Ba’s attack tips for her cane and we went to the farm store next door.

 

---

 

The farm store had a bunch of plastic pots and bags of dirt and other useless stuff, so Ba Ba told an employee to get us some hornets, and the employee wouldn’t do it so she demanded to talk to the manager and then the manager showed us the bees.

 

The bees were kind of lame. They were big and buzzing and stuff, but they didn’t look all that aggressive. They didn’t even swarm around when I tapped on the glass. “I dunno,” I said. “They’re all soft and… fuzzy. Haven’t you got any murder hornets?”

 

“Why would I want to get stung by murder hornets every time someone rented them?” the manager said.

 

I shrugged. “You’re the manager, make someone else do it.”

 

“Then they’d get stung, duh,” she said.  “Bumbles are better anyway - the fuzz helps them spread the pollen around. You’ll get a bumper crop with these girls buzzing around your plants - as long as the flowers are big enough for a bee to fit, of course. If you’re growing something small-flowered like microcados you’ll want to rent the midget flies instead.”

 

“They’re not for crops, they’re for victory!” Ba Ba said, and banged her metal-tipped cane on the tile floor so hard it cracked.

 

“Please stop breaking the floor, m’am,” the manager said. “Anyway, I’m sure you’ll be happy with our bumble bees’ performance. Amos Fletcher rents from us, and his lemons have won ribbons at the Haven Fair every year for decades!”

 

Ba Ba harrumphed.

 

“There’s got to be someplace around here that sells decent animals,” I said.

 

“The pet store closed at six,” the manager said unhelpfully. “And I don’t understand why you’re trying to buy murder hornets instead of hunting dogs anyway, that doesn’t make any sense.”

 

“Is there a pound or something?” I asked. “There’s got to be someplace I can get a dangerous pissed-off animal tonight.”

 

“I’m afraid not,” the manager said. “Pound’s closed, too. You could come back in the morning and see if anybody’s got a problem bull or something, I guess?”

 

“We’ll take the bees,” Ba Ba said in monotone.

 

“Wonderful!” the manager said with a fake customer service grin. “Our largest colony has two hundred and twelve bumbles. Make sure you bring back the travel hive with at least one hundred and ninety bees including the queen to get your deposit back.”

---

We got out to the dirt patch that passed for a parking lot and discovered that our taxi driver was a no-good lying criminal. He’d left us stranded, and left poor Ba Ba’s suitcase and my backpack lying in the parking lot. A couple scrawny thieves had dumped out all our stuff and were fighting over Ba Ba’s jewlery box. A crummy two-seater dirt bike lay in the dust nearby.

 

“HEY!” I bellowed. The moehawked boy yanked the jewlery box away from the girl with curly black hair and they both took of running.

 

I charged after them. “You punks like to steal from sweet old ladies, huh?” These street rats were fast, but I’d catch them sooner or later.

 

The thieves dashed between a couple closely-parked cars. I jumped onto the hatchback’s hood and ran up over it. The car’s shoddily built metal body made satisfying popping sounds under my boots.

I did a flying leap off the the hatchback’s roof and kicked mohawk boy in the back as I landed. He fell and I fell on top of him and I grabbed him by the hair and yanked Ba Ba’s jewlery box out of his hand.

 

The punk gasped for air. He muttered “fuck… the fuck, man” and spat out some blood and a tooth. “Fuck. Almost outta chompers.”

 

I growled “you wanna lose some more?” and twisted his arm behind his back. Then something whacked me in the back of the head.

 

I jumped up and whirled around and was face to face with the curly haired girl. She ducked and screamed “Gummy, run!!!” and then dove for the jewlery box. I jerked it away from her and kicked her in the shin. She fell down in the dust. As she started to get up, a glint of green caught my eye.

 

“Necklace. Now.”

 

She hung her head and took Ba Ba’s jade necklace off.

 

“And the earrings, too. Ba Ba will like those.” The gold dangle earrings weren’t Ba Ba’s, but I figured she deserved a little something for all the worry and trouble these two had caused her.

 

The girl threw the jewelry at me and took off running. As I picked up Ba Ba’s things off the dusty ground, I heard a crummy little engine revving far behind me.

 

“Hurry up, Billy!” Ba Ba shouted. “I found us a ride to the motel!”

 

I ran back to where Ba Ba was waiting on the thieves’ motorbike. I tied the case of bees to my backpack and put it on, put Ba Ba’s jewlery box, necklace and new earrings into one of her suitcases, picked them both up and climbed on the back of the bike. The suspension sank way down, but there was still just enough clearance left for the back wheel to turn.

 

“Looks like we came out on top after all,” Ba Ba cackled. She revved the engine once more and then we sped off for our hotel by the Dust Up Dome.

Edited by Bill the Beast
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MEANWHILE/EARLIER.......

HAVEN town, 12:00 AM

I trudged across the village ruin with all the buildings made of tin and garbage and old beer cans and Salvage, in the background I heard a cattle mooing at the moon. Somewhere off in the distance there was some gun shots, wind rattling and yelling. A bunch of people in old grubby rags walked by me, it was a Destitute and poor place. I only had my Shopping bag and the gorilla on a leash, all my material things, because I had to focus on my Mind and my Body for the total war that was going to be happening at the combat rink whjere I was going.

I walked down some suspcious streets. A guy hollered at me for cash, but I had no time

Then a watch salesman tried to sell me a bunch of watches out of the inside of the coat, no time

Finally I went by a Grill and Steakhouse, the smell was so good I almost stopped, but I had to keep fighting, the combat rink was just ahead and I had to get therre. I went across the road and I saw the neon sign nailed to the side of a busted up wearhouse, "DUST UP DOME COMBAT TRIALS OPEN 24/7."

"Huh, that doesnt look like a dome Mr Chuckles, I think that sign is False Advertising." Then I took the gorilla across the road and we went up to the door, I pulled really hard on it but it did not open. Then I looked around to see if there was a reason but I didnt see anything, all the lights were on but the door was barred from me. "HEY LET ME INSIDE I'M A CONTENDER!!" I yelled and I banged a bunch on the door, then all of the sudden a guy came to the door and slid open the little talky window and I saw a pair of lips yelling back at me "OK What is your belt password??"

"My belt password??? I don't have one, thats why I'm here, I have to fight in the Deomstration Match for my belt and my honor!, the sign says youre open 24/7!!" I Intoned.

"OK well the 24/7 part of the club is only open for Belt Holders, if you had a belt you could read the password off the inside of it and we would let you in, since you dont have a belt you have to wait for normal hours, that starts at 8 AM."

"8 AM???" I yelled. "That's like 6 hours from now!!! What am I Supposed to do???"

"I dont know" said the lips "Come back at 8 AM and we'll let you in!!!"

Then the lips slammed the talky window and I was outside alone with my stuff and the gorilla, I hung my head in Shame and I went over to the curb and sat down and looked up at the moon, Mr Chuckles was doing something behind me.

"Come here Mr Chuckles, I guess we have to wait, there's nothing but time between us now" I said with a tear in my voice. But the gorilla did not come over. I looked over to see what he was doing.

"Mr CHuckles, what are you doing?? Why wont you come over here?" Then I saw it. "WHAT THE SHIT??"

Mr Chuckles was licking the side of a big blue dumpster with his mouth and tounge, there were all knds of flies and other gross things flying around the dumpster and a bunch of stains. I screamed with horror, "Mr Chuckles that's gross!!!" Then I walked over to try to get Mr Chuckles to stop doing that, but as soon as I got over to him he piushed me away and made a roar like a bear, then he turned around and ripped the Dumpster Door open and reached his huge arm inside the dumpster.

"MR Chuckles stop touching garbage, that's gross, stop touching garbage!!" I Yelled, then I was looking at the gorilla while he was putting his arm inside the trash. But Mr Chuckles would not stop, he had a Deterimination on his face and his tounge was sticking up the side of his face like he was trying hard and in a minute he came back with a big huge awful diaper in his hand.

"OH SHIT THAT'S GROSS" i said, "PUT THAT DOWN!!!" But Mr Chuckles just looked at me and then took a HUGE bite out of the diaper like it was a terrible taco, the gross insides went everywhere on the street and Mr Chuckles jumped up and down and made a bunch of ape noises. "BAD MONKEY!!" I Yelled, then I went over and I tried to close the Dumpster, but Mr Chuckles punched me in the shin/Achilles heel and made me limp away yelling. Then he went back to the spot where there had been a bunch of licking and started banging his fist on the dumpster. The talky hole in the Dust Up Dome slid open and the lips yelled "HEY STOP MAKING ALL THAT RACKET OUT THERE WE'RE TRYING TO TRAIN INSIDE HERE!!!" "i'M SORRY ITS MY RENTAL GORILLA, HE WONT STOP EATING DUMPSTER!!"

Then the talky door slammed closed and I looked at Mr Chuckles. "Mr Chukles, please stop we are going to get in trouble and I dont want to go to Twycross Jail!!" I yelled. But Mr Chuckles didn't pay attention, he just hit the dumpster one more time and all of the sudden the most terrible thing happened.............

.......a hole got blasted in the Rusty part of the dumpster where Mr Chuckles had been hitting and 1000s of terrible huge Roaches came out into the street like a can of Pasta going everywhere, Mr Chuckles screamed happy monkey noises and started scopping up the Roaches with his hands and eating them, I screamed a womanly scream in Terror at the bug swarm and pulled out my gun, then I yelled "EAT LEAD AND DIE MONSTERS!!!!" and I shot oh so many bulletes everywhere trying to explode the roaches before they could get me, Mr Chuckles jumped up and down making monkey screaming noises and the guiy at the door of the Dust Up Bin started shouting at me because of my noise, I didnt care because I had Vengeance in my mind and so I kept shooting until the gun ran out of ammo, then I stomped out the Roaches that didnt flee into the night. "MR CHUCKLES THATS ENOUGH OF THAT" I said Sternly, then I went over and took his leash, the gorilla looked at me with a weird look on his face.

"Mr Chuckles whats wrong?" I asked, the gorilla was holding his stomach and getting cross eyed. Then he scrunched his face up really hard and I heard a BWORP and then a giant brown Splash went up the wall behind Mr Chuckles with a huge splat, then all of the sudden I had this Awful wet spray raining on me!!

"AGGGGGGH MR CHUCKLES YOU ATE ROACHES AND GAVE YOURSELF EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA AND NOW ITS ON ME, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT A BELT MATCH IN GORILLA DIARRHEA???"

Mr Chuckles didnt say anything, he just sat down and got out his Cigarettes while I sobbed in Shame and because I was gross, then the rink attendant came out with a bucket and a toothbrush and some Sawdust.

"You can Start by cleaning up that mess!!" He intoned and threw the Items at my feet, I wiped gorilla mess off my face and started cleaning the diarrha with a toothbrush while I Sobbed......

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Pirate Stash, Spindrift Desert
Several hours from Haven/"the middle of nowhere"
Twycross - Lyran Commonwealth
December 12, 3029
_______________________________________________

The explosion desecrated the still, early morning, desert air, a plume of fire reaching up into the sky and sending the ambient temperature rocketing upwards, if only for a few seconds, well beyond the normal oppressive heat of the Spindrift Desert. Moments before we had been standing all too close to what was supposed to be our LosTech cache, or at least a portion of it, but instead ended up being an extremely oversized booby-trapped pipebomb. When the second light had come on at the far end of container I knew something was wrong, well we all knew before that since the container had been empty instead of packed full of priceless LosTech, but that second light, even though it was too far away to see any details, rang just about every alarm bell there was in my head. I spotted the haphazard wires running along the one side of the container back towards the door and took a wild guess that whoever had cleared this place out also took measures to make sure anyone else coming looking for it wouldn't continue looking. I couldn't be sure though as the few remaining items in the container didn't offer any clear indication that they contained explosives, however before I had a chance to voice my concern Schuster had apparently come to a more conclusive decision and ran back towards us while shouting, Maxwell and I both started to turn before Nick plowed into us at full speed, catching us mid-stride and sending all three of us tumbling down into the sandy desert. Dust, debris, and a whole lot of sand came raining down on us seconds later just as the ringing the in my ears finally became audible.

"Are you guys OK? I just saw a huge explosion from up here!!" came Alyssa's more than slightly worried voice on the comms, her drone feed likely picking up the explosion easily even if it couldn't make out details of individuals yet.

"We're fine, Control.......I think. Captain Maxwell? Lieutenant Jaeger? You alright? Sorry for the rough landing," replied Schuster shakily as he attempted to regain his feet.

"I'm good," I replied, working my way out from under Nick as he slowly stood on the shifting sands.

"We're all good Control," answered Charles on the comms as he did the same, "just knocking the sand out of our hair."

"With high explosives? Great idea Eden, maybe we can use a vehicle Flamer to dry out our clothes next time they get wet, while we're wearing them," admonished Alyssa in a less than jovial tone.

"It was surprisingly effective," I offered, "at least momentarily, though it definitely wasn't the plan."

"No it was not," replied Charles seriously, though shaking his head in a silent chuckle, "Control, someone got here before us, cleaned it out and tried to make sure no one could follow us."

"Shit," said Alyssa over the comms, "Alright, drone's in range now and I can see you all appear to be in one piece, minus the cargo container of course. I'm going to sweep the perimeter again and see if I can't find ... something, the storm likely erased any tracks we might have found though."

"Agreed," answered Maxwell, "we'll check out the wreckage here and see if we can turn anything up."

As Charles and Alyssa discussed our immediate next steps I had already moved towards the still smoking remnants of the cargo container, curious as to how we managed to survive such a blast. An explosion powerful enough to rip the container apart the way it did should have been easily enough to take us out too, especially since the container itself, by its very nature, would try and funnel most of the blast out the path of least resistance, in this case the open door. Unless the blast itself was strong enough to just punch straight through the container regardless of the open door, but in that case an explosion that strong still should have gotten us since it would have had a larger blast radius in all directions. Only thing I could come up with was if it had been a shaped charge, and it had been pointing in the wrong direction, basically anywhere but towards the door, that would have directed most of the blast away from us while still provided enough energy to destroy the container itself with relative ease.

"Find anything Jaeger?" called Maxwell as he made his way into the smoking crater, followed closely by Nick.

"Not really, a whole bunch of scrap metal," I replied with a sigh, nothing was left that could be identified.

As Charles and Nick got closer I shared my theory on the explosion with them, Charles nodding in agreement before Nick confirmed my suspicions, "Yeah it was a pair of SRMs, didn't get a good look, you know imminent death and explosion and all, but they were dismantled and jury rigged to the homing device it looked like."

"Great, so not only did they try and blow us up, or whoever found this thing next, but there's a chance they might be aware that their little booby trap went off," I replied grimly, "This day just keeps getting better."

"It's not all bad," answered Charles, "if they bothered to rig it up to the beacon, assuming they had the intention of knowing when the trap was sprung, that means that whoever did this is likely planetside, or at the very least somewhere in system. That beacon was putting out a local signal only, no HPG link and no way of transmitting over large distances. We practically had to be in orbit before we could pick it up properly."

"True, at least that gives us something," I said nodding, "maybe the locals could provide us a lead? Hell the locals might be the ones that swiped it in the first place."

"You've got a point there," replied Charles.

"Somehow I don't think the locals are going to just point us in the right direction though," added Nick, "they didn't strike me as the welcoming, or helpful, type."

"They aren't," grumbled Charles, "but there are ways to persuade them."

"Let's get back to the transports and decide our next move there," continued Charles, somewhat abruptly changing tones, "at the very least we can get out of the sun while Alyssa runs her sweep."

Edited by Orlex Jaeger
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